Whoo boy. We're half an hour away from the USC-Nebraska game. Who's excited?*

So far, I likes what I see today. I was quite happy to see that Michigan thrashed Notre Dame. I realize that a higher-ranked ND is better for SC's strength of schedule rating...but I just can't help but root against the Fighting Irish. Chalk it up to the marching band indoctrination.

And if I was happy to see the Michigan victory over ND, I was downright giddy to see Oregon pull off a thrilling victory over Oklahoma. No offense to any of my Oklahoman readers or anything. I'm really saying, uh...you're doing fine, Oklahoma.

Oklahoma?

Okay.


*Yes, I realize that those who are really excited about the SC game probably aren't reading my LJ at this juncture.

[POST GAME UPDATE - 11:25 PM EST]
Is it too early to start the "John Heisman Booty" campaign? Yes? Hows about some "Moody-Booty" t-shirts, then (a la Bush-Leinart '04)? Anyone?

"Well, I guess I could get used to rooting for Arizona and New Orleans."

This is one of those stories that sounds too fantastic to be true.

My great-grand little bro in AGO (my little bro's little bro's little bro, got it?), Ben--or, as we like to call him, "pampers"--has written for the Daily Trojan for the past three years. A few weeks ago, he saw that the USC football team was having open tryouts, and, thinking of what a fun story it would be, Ben tried out. As Ben puts it, he's vastly undersized and hasn't played organized tackle football since he was in 5th grade, so he surely had no illusions that he would actually make the team.

Well, lo and behold, he actually made the team.

I know...isn't that the coolest thing you've ever heard in your life?

So says Pete Carroll. And I must concur.

And so, off he goes, the only man I can safely and unabashedly say I've wanted to kiss on numerous occasions. And I'm sure I'm not the only one (c'mon, Jonathan, don't leave me hanging here).

For every jaw-dropping juke, every mesmerizing move, the "619," the Bush-push, the humility and graciousness displayed both on and off the field, the numerous acrobatic leaps into the endzone, the moving and gracious Heisman speech, and yes, even for the attempted lateral during the Rose Bowl that--had it worked, might've been the most dazzling Reggie play of 'em all; for all of this and more, Reggie, thank you. No one has made me as giddy as a 6-year old on so many Saturday afternoons in the autumn, and I look forward to experiencing that same giddiness while watching you on Sunday afternoons in the future.

Thank you, #5.

LenDale is headed for the NFL Draft.

I can't be upset. LenDale has blessed us with three unbelieveable seasons as the "Thunder" to Reggie Bush's "Lightning." He's now USC's all-time leader in rushing touchdowns, a pretty remarkable feat considering the many talented running backs that have gone through this program. And while at USC, he became good friends with Snoop Dogg. I think he's right: he's accomplished pretty much everything he could accomplish at USC.

Everything...except for winning a Heisman Trophy. But, let's be honest: I think it's time to let another school win one of those things. Heritage Hall is starting to fill up pretty quickly.

Thank you, LenDale. Best of luck to you.

From the BBC, dated January 11, 2006: Levi Makes iPod-Controlling Jeans

From this very LJ, dated April 12, 2005: Dave's Crazy Ideas of the Week (it's Crazy Idea #2)

Now, I have no evidence to prove this, but I'm pretty certain that somebody at Levi's read my journal, and straight up stole the iPod jeans idea. The nerve!! If any of you Levi spies are currently reading, know this: while I'll be a bit preoccupied for the next six months, rest assured that when I get back to the States, I'm gonna make sure you pay. Oh, you will pay. (And by "you" I think I mean "me"...$200, for a pair of those nifty iPod jeans. The concept of which you stole from me!)

...

Also, while I'm in my current conspiracy-theorist mode, now's a good time to share what I'm calling the Corollary to the Evil Pete Carroll Theory. If you'll recall, sometime in October, I suggested that Pete Carroll shoots an innocent little kitten in the locker room at halftime to rally the USC players. These men wouldn't be able to bear the sight of a cute, cuddly kitten being slain for their on-field monkey shines, so they always rallied together and won the game, lest Carroll take the life of another innocent kitten.

Now, my theory still stands, but with this important corollary: yes, Carroll performed this atrocious-yet-necessary deed one final time this season--during halftime at the Rose Bowl--but, unbeknownst to him, he was being watched. Mack Brown had sent over some spies to witness the ritual (dare I call their brilliant scheme "Operation: The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You?" Yes, yes I dare.). They brought word back to Coach Brown, who laughed maniacally upon hearing the news, and then waited until the final minutes of the game, when the Longhorns were down by 12. He then summoned Vince Young to a private pow-wow behind Bevo. In one hand, a gun he'd pulled from out of his boot; in the other, a cute, cuddly kitten that his charges had just picked up from Pasadena Petz...

And, well...you know how this tragic story ends.

I've been glued to TributetoTroy.com for the past few days now, reading through the wealth of newspaper articles on the Trojans.

This one in particular--from the LA Times--made me smile:

What does it mean to be USC's football coach, with a couple of national championships under your belt, living in the entertainment capital of the world?

J.K. McKay learned early.

He remembers having dinner as a kid at Chasen's in Beverly Hills with his dad, the late Trojan coach John McKay, and legendary Alabama coach Paul "Bear" Bryant. The waiter approached with a request.

"Coach McKay," he said. "Mr. Sinatra has a table in back and wants you to stop by."

McKay, who already had won two of his four national titles, didn't budge.

"You tell him to come up and see us," he said.

And Sinatra did, proving that even the Chairman of the Board couldn't always do it his way, not when he was dealing with the coach who poured the foundation for one of the most successful programs in the history of college football.

Several stories these past few weeks have touched on the current crop of celebrity USC fans and supporters, including Will Ferrell, Snoop Dogg, Kirsten Dunst, and the Fonz.

Let's admit it: it's fun to watch your alma mater and your team getting all this attention.

Top 10 Perks of Winning the Heisman Trophy
(presented, of course, by USC's 7th Heisman Trophy winner, Reggie Bush)

10. "Trophy can be used as ID at airports."

9. "Now when coach gives me pointers, I can say, 'And how many Heismans have you won?'"

8. "Lifetime supply of pigskin."

7. "Microchip in the trophy gets me through E-Z Pass."

6. "The trophy holds 10,000 songs."

5. "Now maybe someone on the team'll get a date besides pretty boy Matt Leinart."

4. "Steinbrenner's trying to get me to sign with the Yankees."

3. "I now have the world's most valuable paperweight."

2. "Secret code for 'Madden NFL 2006' video game that lets me see John Madden naked."

1. "You're the only Bush with an approval rating over 40%."

"The Trojans haven't lost a game since Sept. 27, 2003, and it took three overtime periods at Cal to do it. Since Oct. 6, 2002, USC is 45-1. Freaks."

Read the rest of Wojciechowski's piece here.

I know, I know...preaching to the choir, as about 2/3 of my readership is made up of Trojans. With that in mind, let me take this opportunity to share another stat, one that's so incredibly obvious, most people neglect to mention it when discussing USC's dominance over the past 3.5 years:

The "Mr. USC 2002-2003" sash made its first appearance during the USC Homecoming game on November 16, 2002, which resulted in a USC victory over Arizona State. The sash then showed up at the two remaining regular season games, against bitter rivals ucla and Notre Dame. Both teams were soundly beaten by the Trojans. The sash was then worn at the 2003 Orange Bowl, in which the Trojans crushed the Hawkeyes of Iowa. In fact, since the sash's first appearance at a USC football game, the Trojans have gone 41-1. I'm pretty sure there's no way that could be a mere coincidence.

So you can pretty much thank me for kick-starting the Trojans' college football dynasty.

...

You're welcome.

As if it's any surprise, I would absolutely l o o o v e to get inside the Rose Bowl on 01/04/06.

This may be the most pointless request in the world--as I'm sure every single seat in the house has already been scooped up--BUT, if you or someone you know can get a ticket for me (season ticket holders, I'm looking at you)...I would, well, I would probably name you as a benefactor in my will. Or give you a shout-out if I ever win an Oscar. Or, at the very least, you'll earn a place on my "Favorite People of All-Time" list (somewhere between Jesus and Steve Jobs).

Considering I'll be leaving for Iraq the following week, and won't be back in the States for 6 months, I can't think of a better sending-off than witnessing this monster of a game.

First things first: Jonathan, I never should have doubted you. I, too, should've been rooting for the dirty bruins so that they would be undefeated coming into Saturday's game. That may have been the only thing that would've made the victory any sweeter.

OK, so that said...WOW.

I would've given nearly anything to have been in LA this past Saturday. I was feeling that way before the demolition, so you can imagine how I'm feeling now.

I've spent the morning checking the articles at Tribute to Troy in a vain atempt to vicariously put myself "at" the game. That was one for the ages, my friends; all of you who were there can know that I am extreeeeemely jealous of you!

God bless USC, St. Pete, Reggie, Matt, and the rest of the crew. Watching you guys win never gets old.