Yeah, so I got the mop chopped today--my fifth, count it, fifth haircut since moving to New York 21 months ago--and when I say "chopped," I really do mean "chopped."

As of this morning, my hair was the longest it had ever been. (A few weeks back I said that my hair wasn't as long as it may appear in this photo; well, upon further review of the game footage, I have to overturn the earlier call and say that YES, that is my mullet-like mane that you see behind my head, and not some object in the background as previously stated.) It was long overdue for a good trim, though I wanted to keep it rather long...partly because of my upcoming duties as a rock n' roll star (more on that to come), and partly because I've grown to like my long-haired look. I explained all of this to the Irish girl at Hue--the neighborhood's only semi-hip hair salon--who was in charge of today's haircut.

Apparently I need to brush up on my Irish. She must have misunderstood me when I asked for "a couple inches off the back and maybe an inch off the top." Instead, she cut waaaaaay too much off in the back, as in all of it. To the extent that my hair now looks a little top-heavy. Or "layered," as they say. Or kinda effeminate (guess it matches my voice now). Take your pick.

In fact, there's a name for this kind of look. I believe we call it The Hanson, as this haircut makes its owner look like Taylor Hanson after he stopped being such a hair farmer and chopped his mop. I believe we coined this term sometime in early-2001, in order to mock our good friend Tex who cut his long, flowing, golden Texas locks in the same fashion.

Well, let the mocking begin for DT. I am the new owner of The Hanson. And not a proud owner, at that.

We'll see if I ever go for another haircut again.

That Tom Cruise thinks he's sooooo hip and cool and Generation-Yish (or whatever our generation's official title is..."millenials," "Gen-Nintendo," or whatever), now that he's officially dating Katie Holmes.

And do you really mean to tell me that none other than Tom Cruise--arguably the biggest Hollywood star right now--can't find a nice girl right around his own age (42) to woo? Come on, Tommy, the kid's 26 years old--she was learning to write in cursive and do simple multiplication in the 3rd grade when you were chasing after Kelly McGillis in Top Gun. Leave the 20-something starlets be so that they're available when nice, tall, sleazy-green-eyed 20-something gentlemen from Sunnyside come calling (oh, and if it's actors that she's into, no prob--I played the lead role of "Billy" in our 1st grade production of "The Evil Pumpkin Patch", or something to that effect...Mr. Cruise--if that's his real name--has got nothing on me).

You can tell that I'm not happy about this. Not. Happy.

Oh well...anyone know what Scarlett's up to these days?

Here now are two articles on The Simpsons's latest milestone--the 350th episode, broadcast this week.

First, an article from the New York Times (registration req'd) quotes creator Matt Groening saying that the show has "almost reached its halfway point, which means another seventeen years" on the air. The second article, from the Hollywood Reporter, is more of a generalized look at the longevity of television shows and how The Simpsons currently fits into that pantheon.

The NYT article makes mention of the "ferocious fans [who] suggest that [the show] ran out of gas some time ago," which I would guess is in reference to me and many many other fans of the show who think it took a nosedive after 1999. I blame Mike Scully, who became the Executive Producer that year--the show truly has never been the same since. And despite what's written in the Times article--which seems to present only the point-of-view of Groening, Brooks et al--the show is not nearly as funny or intelligent as it used to be. I can barely sit through an episode these days without cringing.

I'm not sure what planet Matt Groening is currently residing on these days, but surely it's not planet Earth if he thinks The Simpsons should be able to keep on keeping on for another 17 years. Maybe he was being sarcastic.

Now, to end this Simpsons-related post on a happy note...we turn, once again, to Ralph Wiggum:

Ralph Wiggum: "Uhh, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent."
Mrs. Hoover: "Ralph, remember that time you said Snagglepuss was outside?"
Ralph: "He was going to the bathroom."

So was today the day that working a 9-5 office job officially jumped the shark for me?

Why, yes. Yes it was.

(Those unfamiliar with the phrase "jump the shark," are advised to read this, from the above-linked webpage.)

I spent most of the day standing in front of a Xerox machine making several thousand copies (some quick math here for an estimate...26 applications x 35 pgs./app on average x 12 copies for each = 10,920 copies?!?...crazy, but yeah, that seems right). It's now after 6, I'm dead tired and have lots of papercuts to show for my work. It's days like today where I wish I was working at the gold mine instead...I mean, the work was just as monotonous there, but at least it made for a great story, whereas today I did paperwork. And coming home sore, tired, and a little banged up was a badge of honor when you finished a 10-hour shift at the mine...today, I feel like I have no excuse for being exhausted. But exhausted I am.

So, it's not like I'm going to quit in the next week, or even the next month. But, make no mistake, it's only a matter of time now before the show's over.

Also, reading this book during the past week has undoubtedly had a lot to do with my current attitude towards a 9-5 desk job. I'd tell you more about it if I weren't so durned tired right now.