I haven't shaved for about a week, which makes today's shave all the more poignant.

See you around, Grizzly Bear Adams.

So, I know this girl. For the sake of her anonymity, let's call her "J. Sallee." No, no...that's too obvious; let's just call her "Julie S."

Now then. "Julie S." is currently experiencing a problem that I know all-too-well from my days as an undergrad: occasionally missing an 8 AM class on account of its unconscionably early start time. (uscqt can attest to my poor attendance in JOUR 206, aka the worst. class. ever.) In Julie's case, even a handful of alarm clocks can't wake her up in time for her class, and so--ever-mindful of her class attendance--she's resorted to staying up all night before the class in order not to sleep through it.

But seeing as how this is starting to wear her out, Julie has been desperately trying to come up with a better approach.

And so, I spent hours yesterday devising a new, failproof system to make sure Julie's out the door in time for that pesky 8 AM class. Sure enough, I came up with a system so fiendishly simple and efficient that it defies all logic.* And then I made a diagram to show its simplicity and efficiency.

( click here to continue reading )

*I originally was going to say, "so fiendishly simple and efficient that Archimedes himself would've run around naked at the thought of it." But--historically-accurate as that phrase may (or may not) be--it made that whole paragraph sound kinda...weird, y'know?

Obsoive:



I'm not quite sure what the sign-maker was trying to say here. Though, if they're saying what I think they're saying, I can totally relate. I actually wrote a little something along the same lines, albeit to a different audience:

Dear Twins,
You are currently 3rd in the AL Central, behind Detroit and Chicago, which puts you 2nd in the current AL wild card standings. Is this the kind of season you want to have to honor Kirby? You guys have the talent. You can make the playoffs...for Kirby.

Please Twins.

Yours, Dave.

Feel free to add your own exhortation, be it to your favorite sports team or negligent pet owners. I'd like to think of this as a pre-Festivus opportunity for an airing of grievances, right here on my very LJ.

Why? Because I care.

(see also: Spilled Paint by Hoodlums)

Today, I made an amazing discovery, one that gives me hope for the future of Iraq as we know it:



That's right; Iraqi Dew. Old school Dew, to be sure, but regardless: it's one step closer to finding Code Red here!! (And, I should add, one step closer to an unavoidable trip to the dentist here.)

Also, because I'm the biggest nerd ever, I've decided to translate "Do the Dew" into Kurdish for you (you lucky readers, you!): "Diweke bike."

Moments after the Dew discovery, I traipsed over to a nearby bakery on the main drag. Boy, did I luck out! I showed up moments after the bread had been taken out of the oven; the stuff was unbelievably good. I bought it at 4:20, so now I have a legitimate reason--albeit different than most others'--for remembering that time.

...

Other things I'm thankful for this evening:

Due to the snow two weeks back, we've been getting 12-14 hours of electricity a day now (they run hydroelectric plants here, so more snow = more water = more power). Can I tell you just how happy that makes me? No, no I can't.

Also, tonight we finally got the router in our house completely set up, so internet speeds have been sooooo much faster today. (Why, it almost passes for "high speed access." Almost.) We used Skype tonight for our weekly teleconference with the home office in Nashville, and that worked like a charm (if you want my Skype name, just ask).

Tomorrow I take on yet another duty at the school, but one that I'm extremely excited about: teaching music classes. Extremely excited. I've got a box of recorders sitting next to me, and I'm pretty sure we can have some fun with those. Let's see if I can come up with a decent Kurdish version of the "Every Good Boy Does Fine" mnemonic, huh?

Oh, and yeah, tomorrow I hit that big quarter-century mark. I suppose I'll have something maudlin to say about it tomorrow...but truth be told, right now I feel like I'd just as soon let this particular 2/28 go quietly into the night. Maybe that's just the exhaustion talking. We'll see.

While writing the last post in the living room, I watched my mom play around with the new DirecTV Plus receiver that they received for Christmas. I yelped with glee upon seeing this new option where one can call up a DirecTV screen that shows what's playing on 6 related channels at once (be it news, sports, kids' channels, etc). That, and a news ticker scrolls across the bottom of the screen.

I yelped because this was so very reminiscent of that scene in Back to the Future 2! You know the one I'm talking about: that scene in 2015 where Marty McFly Jr. tells his TV to display 7 or 8 different channels at once. Granted, in our case, we still had to use the remote, we could only hear the audio from one channel, and it was all contained on one simple 20-something inch TV screen...all things that I'm sure will be taken care of by the end of 2006 so that our viewing experience is just like that shown in the film.

I mean, don't you get it? We're living in the future! Am I the only one who's remotely excited about this?

Fine, fine. But when they introduce a Hover-Board later this year, it's on. "The future," that is. It's soooo on.

And I just want to say: Ha! Classic!

Thanks, fellas, for thinking of me. And Santa, I hope there's no hard feelings about my saying that you should really be second banana when it comes to celebrating Christmas.

While driving back from Athens, I had plenty of time alone to think. And during the drive, I came up with an idea: I'm gonna make a board game.

Now, I know what you're thinking: this is another one of Dave's crazy ideas, the likes of which he always conjures up in his mind but never gets around to bringing to life. To which I respond: yes, it is a bit random, but it's going to happen. Hopefully.

During my time here in Nashville, I've spent a lot of time with one family in particular. They have an adorable little 5-year old rapscallion who's always asking me to draw him pictures of ninjas, pirates, cowboys, and any other characters generally seen wielding weaponry (I told you he's a rapscallion). And of course--being the good role model I am--I oblige by drawing him said characters with some really serious weapons.

So, on the way home yesterday, in thinking about Christmas gifts and what I should give this family in particular, I thought up a brilliant concept for a board game that I could create for their 5-year old and his older brother; it'll be a cross between Sorry, Stratego, and Double Dragon. I got back to my apartment last night, and spent the evening trying to come up with a game board (you want to see a very early draft of this thing, do you? OK...here it is). I think I'll call it something clever and catchy like..."Ninja Gaiden." Either that, or "Attack of the Killer Ninjas (Who Don't Actually Kill)."

The truth is that I've long considered trying my hand at making a board game. Seriously. It may not have been on the last "To-Do List for Life," but it should've been. So I'll give this one a shot and see how it turns out.

Feel free to mock me for my complete and utter nerdiness. I'll get the last laugh when I'm the next Milton Bradley.

I'm back in Nashville, gearing up for January. I'm going through curriculum, specifically, 7th grade science, which I'll be teaching in addition to 5th and 6th grade humanities/history of Mesopotamia. So my mornings have been spent re-learning all the things I forgot since I was in 7th grade, which is a LOT of information. Funny words, all, like: osmosis, mitosis, cytoplasm, vacuoles, and, of course, asexual reproduction (a giggle-inducer, that one was back in 7th grade).

Afternoons are spent doing cultural, language, worldview, and terrorism-awareness-and-preparedness training. Some of it is quite fascinating, but some of it most-assuredly is NOT. Yesterday afternoon, for example, found me watching a video featuring a horribly boring Ron Howard-lookalike who was droning on about evacuation procedures. This set of emergency/crisis/terrorism preparedness videos was made in 1994, so by my estimation, they're just a tad dated. But this video, in particular, was just pointless--not to mention, because the speaker didn't get into any old stories about him and the Fonz, a tad disappointing.

(Speaking of "Happy Days," rest in peace, Arnold/Mr. Miyagi.)

I feel like there's a lot to share, a lot of things floating around in my head that need some place to be verbalized and semi-organized. Lots of hopes, dreams, fears, frustrations, and anticipations about life in general. But let's be honest: I don't know where to begin, and I don't know that any of it's interesting enough to share here (is it ever?).

So. First post back in a week, and it's a rather dull one, isn't it? OK, let's spice it up just a bit before I head back to 7th grade science:

Watching CNN Headline News back home for the first time in who knows how long, I caught a glimpse of a vixen, an absolute vixen, who gave the most mesmerizing reading of the morning news, ever. It was then and there that I decided: I think I'm in love with Christi Paul.

Well, either her or Neko Case.

This was originally going to be a late-night ramble, but I got back way too late last night to do any blogging. Here now are some jumbled thoughts on nothing in particular:

Just Like Any Other Self-Respecting Rock Band - Last night we had a rehearsal session from 11-1. That's probably a relatively early night compared to other bands, but it's the latest we've ever practiced. The rehearsal space itself was, to quote Napoleon D., freakin' sweet--the folks at Astoria SoundWorks upgraded us to one of the big, cozy, well-kept rooms with big Marshall half-stacks. But it was late, and I didn't get to bed 'til much later, which I'm regretting today. Not to mention the return of tinnitus, for which I have no one to blame but myself. And possibly the Marshall half-stacks.


The Whole Point of the Late Night Practice - I should've mentioned this before, but we've got a gig on Monday night, and it's in Manhattan! The Lower East Side, to be more specific. The venue is Sin-é (pronounced shi-NAY), which was voted last year as "Best Place to See a Local Band's First Gig." This is our second real gig, but our first one in Manhattan, so I'm excited that it happens to be at this spot.

We go on at 8 PM. I think it's $10 at the door...in case any of my NYC readers would care to drop by and show some love. More band info at profate.com if you're interested. Also, Thom just created a profate page on MySpace (which, though I've held out for so long, I find myself inching closer and closer to joining...what do you guys think?).


Is it late-August already? - Yesterday the Village was noticeably busier than it had been in recent months. The whole area was teeming with people--lots of kids that looked really young (well, "young" meaning late-teens/early-twenties), as well as some assorted middle-aged folks, pleated khakis and all.

Then it dawned on me: school starts next week. These are NYU undergraduates. (And their parents).

And then I started to feel kinda old. (In that odd mid-twenties / really-not-that-old-at-all sort of way.)


Adventures in Talking to Girls #1 - Well then. You remember paraphernalia girl, don't you? The one that always smiles at me, and I, her, whenever I walk by her table of bongs and pipes and what-not? Well, believe it or not, I actually talked to her yesterday. It was a very brief, "Hello, how are you?"-type exchange, though, so nothing to get excited about, folks. And again, unless she's selling those wares to raise money for missions trips (as thelpslayer suggested), I'm sure we'll come to find we have nothing in common. Anyway, next time I see her I think I'll throw some deep Ralph Wiggum-inspired prose and ask, "So...you like...stuff?"


Warm the House for Me, Boys - Tonight is the house warming party for the brand new AGO house on the Row at USC. I cannot begin to tell you how much I wish I was there to celebrate with the brothers who've shared this dream with me since we started the fraternity in 2000. And from what slayer says, it sounds like it'll be an incredibly fun party with an insanely good slideshow.

So I spent last night preparing a little last-minute house-warming gift to send the boys on this momentous ocassion. I won't ruin the surprise, in case any of them are reading this before the shin-dig, but I hope they enjoy the lil' gift.

Enjoy the party, boys--I'll be there with you in spirit, with a bottle of Code Red raised in your honor.


Adventures in Talking to Girls #2 - To get home last night, I took the 6 train up from Astor Place. On the Astor Place platform, I noticed a really cute girl. A daily occurrence when out and about in NYC, to be sure, but in this case I developed what I shall call a "subway crush." Now, the whole premise of subway crushes is a delicate one to approach. First, it's pretty much based on nothing more than physical attraction. Next, dealing with said crush is quite a balancing act: on one hand, you're hoping to come up with a good excuse to strike up a conversation, but on the other hand, you don't ever want to come across as That Creepy Guy (Lord knows there's plenty of TCGs in NYC), or worse. Seriously, girls put up with so much crap from guys in this town. And finally, everyone on the subway is, in effect, a wild card--it's possible that the only thing you might have in common with someone else on the subway is that you're both riding the subway. And yet, people develop subway crushes all the time (don't believe me? Consult craigslist.)

Anyway, we got into the same train car, and inside, I think we made eye contact once or twice (we were both reading books, so you know how that goes). Sadly, at Union Square, she got off our train and went to the Express train across the platform. Ah well, I said to myself. I figured she'd ride the Express train up to the Upper East Side, whereas I'd be swapping trains at Grand Central to head back into Queens. I seriously doubted that she'd be going to Queens as well.

The 6 Local pulled into Grand Central, and I walked down to the 7 train platform, hoping I might possibly catch a glimpse of the young lady (and in so doing, muster the nerve to say something stupid like, "Hey, I just saw you on the 6!"). The chances were slim, and sure enough, I didn't see her. Ahh well. To home on the 7, reading my 2Do book and thinking up new things to add to my list.

The train pulled up to 46th Street, where I got off. Sure enough, as I turned my head as I bounded down the steps to the exit, who should I see but my subway crush! She must've been in the car behind mine. What were the chances of that happening?!? OK, so should I say something, especially now that we have at least one more thing in common (i.e. Sunnyside)? I kept mulling it over. I exited the station, and walked north. She did too. I turned right on Queens Blvd. She did too. What if she's stalking ME? Ha!...wishful thinking, my boy. And yet, this can't go on forever, I told myself; if I'm gonna speak up, it's gotta be NOW.

I turned up 48th Street. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as she walked past 48th and continued to walk down Queens Blvd.

...

I'm not beating myself up here. But I swear, one of these days I'd really like to find the courage to just say "Hi" to a subway crush, consequences be damned. Maybe I should put that on my "To Do List for Life."


And that, my friends, is one random collection of anecdotes. I hope you enjoyed it.

(OK, one more post before going to bed.)

For some reason, this made me laugh out loud when I walked by our next-door neighbors' house on Sunday morning:

( click here to see )

Maybe it's because of the insistence that "hoodlums" spilled the paint, which suggests that this was an intentional and malicious act. And if that's the case, then considering that the spilled paint (of an innoxious light color) doesn't stretch more than a few feet in diameter, these must be some pretty weak-sauce hoodlums if this is the best they can do.

Or maybe it's because of the way the sign reads, which leads me to think that maybe this was an art piece called "Spilled Paint" by the artist "Hoodlums." And if that's the case, then the artist's exploration of the socio-geographic (and other) implications of spilled paint has surely raised a lot of questions in my mind. And in the end, isn't that what good art does?

So, either this is shoddy vandalism or it's brilliant artwork. I can't decide.

Echinacea Does Little Against Colds: Study

They said I was crazy for not taking Echinacea everytime a cold reared its ugly head. I say, who's crazy now?* Huh? Huh, placebo-lovers?


*The answer, of course, is still ME...I've spent three days here at work writing up the report-to-end-all-reports, and it's driving me I-N-S-A-N-E. All work and no play make Dave something something*...you know what I mean. Anyway, I'll write something substantial once I recover from this mind-numbing project.

CNet.com has posted a list of the Top 10 Web fads of the past 10 years.

It's a fun read, especially if you were into the fads at the time they were really popular. For the record, I've seen or participated in six of these memes (though, to be fair, I only recently learned about the "All Your Base Are Belong to Us" video, so I suppose that shouldn't count).

Looking back at some of these historic moments of the World Wide Web, one can't help but think back to where he was, what he was doing, and who he was with when these websites made big waves on the cultural radar. It seems like only yesterday that my freshman year roommate and I were ordering the Mahir "I Kiss You!!" t-shirts (yes, we really did, and I unfortunately have photographic evidence somewhere). Similarly, during sophomore year, my group of friends killed time by rating people on HotorNot.com (and, in one case, we ended up finding the picture of a USC Song Girl that I was pretty much in love with at the time...needless to say, she got a '10' rating from me). Ahhh, fond memories, all.

However, I don't think the list is the end-all, be-all of Top 10 Web fads lists. Where is Homestarrunner? Or the Numa Numa kid? Or the guy that sold his ex-wife's wedding dress on eBay for beer money? Are there any other good ones that I'm missing?

In case you were wondering, I'm NOT a covert agent working for the CIA. Don't let the news media's blatant disregard of the facts fool you on this one! (Oh, and in slightly-related news, Jeff G. interviews Karl Rove's breakfast burrito about the so-called "Plame scandal.")

OK, politics aside...the second clarification:

Jonathan was right (as was Aaron, basically). It was Charlie, Wedding Crashers, and War of the Worlds on Friday night. But Quincy gets points too, just 'cause he's Quincy.

You know that "team-building" game that's often called "The Human Knot," or some variation thereof? Sure you do: it's the one in which everyone gets in a circle, grabs random hands, and then has to work together to un-tie the knot. Yeah, I hate playing it too.

Well, despite the fact that this flash game totally reminds me of the Human Knot, I've still found it to be quite addicting. Give it a try--the idea is to move the cicles so that none of the cords between them cross.

Be forewarned, though: you'll have visions of these stupid cords and circles in your sleep if you play this game long enough. At least I did last night.

Watching The Big Lebowski tonight with Thom, I realized that Brandt (the Big Lebowski's assistant, played impeccibly by Philip Seymour Hoffman) is the perfect embodiment of a particular co-worker of mine. No joke--the similarities between these two are scary.